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Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts

Monday, March 11, 2019

Hey, Hey, Hey! Godspeed dear Amy



Winter 1995  Stuarts Draft, VA 

Back Row:  Bryant, Tonia, Amy

Front Row:  Teresa


3-11-2019 I just found out this morning about Amy. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize I had not heard from Amy in a while, knowing she had been battling non hodgkins lymphoma. To say my bad just doesn’t cut it.



Amy was a significant influence in my life and I am grateful for her friendship through the years. Thank you, Amy’s parents & sister, for raising such a strong and giving soul. Amy was brave, feisty, smart, adventurous, caring, and an amazing cook. Amy showed up.







If a picture says a thousand words, Amy’s pictures through the years spoke her love. Amy traveled - sometimes with folks and sometimes solo. Somewhere in our storage there are dozens of postcards from Amy from the time she went across the United States & back in her Saturn. Solo.


Amy's Salsa Recipe found on 76th page of 1993 Vaughn Family Reunion Family Cookbook





About twenty years or so ago, Amy shared her salsa recipe with me. I sent “Amy’s Salsa” recipe in for my husband’s 1993 family reunion cookbook. I remember one time Amy was visiting us I showed it to her, and she was glad to see it in there. If you’re a salsa fan, try Amy’s recipe (with fresh ingredients, preferably homegrown, like Amy did).

There’s an Amy-shaped empty spot in our lives now. Knowing Amy has gone to be with the Lord gives comfort. And I imagine time will ease the sorrow. I’m sending thoughts & prayers to Amy’s sister & nephews & parents. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sometimes Books Can Help Us Through Times of Transition

Ever since I can remember it seems like I've been "learning the hard way" - you know, do it wrong the first time, and then figure out THAT doesn't work so redirecting into another way.  I reckon if I wasn't such a rebel and maybe a better listener I'd master the art of "learning the easy way."  I'm not talking about "book-learning" or "formal education."  I'm talking about LIFE.

But in the last few years some books have come along to help me through some transitions or struggles.  Of course, my Bible has been my mainstay since my late 20's, but  there have been some recent books I would like to recommend with caution.

Sharon's Pearl book is one.  This book came along at a time when some of my relationships were in transition.  Not so much my immediate family relationships, but more distant family.  Sharon so very bravely shared some very personal struggles in such a way as to help the reader to see there is a path to forgiveness and healing.  Sharon helped me to understand that forgiving someone is not approval of what they had done, or permission to continue to do, but simply forgiving them.

[Making a Pearl from the Grit of Life is the first book by Sharon Rainey, Writer, Entrepreneur, Wife, Mother, and Lyme survivor. It allows us to follow Sharon Rainey on a very private path of early trauma. It leads us through depths of the human spirit – depths we come to recognize as very much like our own – and, through hard-won lessons, emerge onto a higher place of inner strength and happiness.
“If my life had been easy I would have been short-changed. Now I thank God for the challenges. They forced me to leave the path I was on – one that led deeper into disappointment – and to find the path of spirit.
“My world is not perfect. I suspect the world is not meant to be perfect. But today my life is truly like a pearl, more beautiful than I could have imagined.”  –Sharon E. Rainey]

And then there's the book I just finished reading yesterday:  This Life Is In Your Hands by Melissa Coleman.
  • "This Life Is in Your Hands is the search to understand a complicated past; a true story, both tragic and redemptive, it tells of the quest to make a good life, the role of fate, and the power of forgiveness."
This book has really hit me hard.  I am pretty slow, so I'll be mentally & emotionally digesting this for a while.  Chewing on my cud, so to speak.  My initial reaction is that if you read a book that inspires you to begin farming, BEFORE you sell your house & all your belongings & pack everything into a yellow truck & begin your farm dream, READ THIS BOOK.  I will caution you that this is not a neat & tidy book that you can read to your little ones.  Unless you consider skinny-dipping, and some of the other hippie-style social interactions okay.  I won't be reading this to my kids.  But I'm glad I read it.

I am really impressed by the courage of Melissa Coleman and Sharon Rainey.  These women have endured various traumas, and not only survived, but have grown into beautiful, strong women.  They are opening up their sorrows and hardships so that you will be blessed.

I have been thinking a lot this year about the challenges of parenting.  How we as parents want to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of our beliefs, goals, ideals & purpose.  We endeavor to encourage the shaping of their core, hopefully without destroying them.

My parents valued education, culture, material success – and pushed me hard in those directions.  My bad:  I ended up not achieving their goals for me, but living & pursuing my own. 

How much of what we are is a result of striving against our parents' goals? How much of what our children will become is a result of them doing the same? How can we nurture w/o smothering? How can we encourage without stunting?

So I am going to leave this post in its open ended work in progress form, work on my cud, and finish later.

Next book on my plate is my Dad's Pieces of History: The Life and Career of John J. Harter.

John Harter's thirty-year diplomatic career included foreign assignments on four continents, a master's degree in economics from Harvard, a seven-year writer/interviewer stint at USIA, and representing the United States at many international meetings. After retiring from the Foreign Service, he served as oral historian at the National Gallery of Art, organized sixteen conferences on international economic issues for the American Foreign Service Association, and worked twelve years as a declassifier for USAID. He has three adult children, six grandchildren, and, as of 2011, one great-grandchild. He is currently writing his memoirs.


Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: 
Luke 6:37

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. 
Mark 11:26 

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3:21 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Moving vs. Staying Put

My Dad's birthday is at the end of January.  This year he'll be 86.  He used to say "Old is older than I am."  Now he's admitting that time has caught up with him.  Even though he admits to senior citizen status, Dad is in amazingly good shape.  His big focus right now is polishing up his memoirs – I hope & pray the Lord helps Dad to finish this project that means so much to him.  And I also hope & pray that my Dad trusts in Jesus for his eternity, but that’s another story.

On our recent visit to my Dad’s & stepmom’s, he asked me if I had enjoyed moving around so much as a kid.  I laughed.  I answered like this:

Well, Dad, how many times has Tian moved since he’s been on his own?  What about Lal, especially since he’s had young’uns? 

And let’s see, before Bryant & I had young’uns we moved every year or so.  After we had Teresa (our oldest) we stayed in Stuarts Draft, VA,  for thirteen years. 

We’ve been at our current Box Springs, GA, homeplace for ten years.

No, Dad, I don’t enjoy moving.  I usually get kind of ill just thinking about it.  I get attached to people & places.  I put down roots and don’t like relocating.

I didn’t like the public school experience of being the new kid.

I did tell my Dad that I knew I learned a lot of amazing things from all the moving when I was young.

I’ve told my Dad many times that I realize that if our lives had taken different directions then I probably would never have met my husband, or had our three wonderful girls.  They are the most important parts of my life, and I don’t regret being a wife or mom, most of the time ;)  So even though there have been some hard memories along the way, I’m thankful for how they’ve brought me to NOW.

After the doings of the land of Egypt, wherein ye dwelt, shall ye not do: and after the doings of the land of Canaan, whither I bring you, shall ye not do: neither shall ye walk in their ordinances. 
Leviticus 18:3